This season of life (for me, and many of my loved ones) has been characterized by big change, transitions, and uncertainty. I can name a hefty handful of people struggling to find solid ground right now — whether they’re navigating a move, a career shift, or a breakup, everyone seems to be feeling a little shaky.
For my part, I’ve really tested (and continue to test) my ability to withstand discomfort and embrace the unknown. Historically, during periods like this, I’ve groped for some trusty handrails: watching my comfort shows, returning to meditation, phoning friends, planning trips. And this time around has been no different. While navigating this strange patch, I’ve enlisted buddies to join me in a daily “breakthrough” course which is kinda rocking my world (more about this below), and in this moment I happen to be writing to you from a train to Boston following a friend-filled few days.
I’ve broken out Ye Olde Salves in an attempt to soothe my soul as I expand into this next stage: moving to a new city, dating new people, discerning my professional goals, and more. But even with the influence of my tried and true interventions, I’ve found others’ confidence in me and my ability to handle this transition exceptionally soothing. So I’ve been sure to remind those around me struggling with similar phases of change of my confidence in them.
Years ago, at a particularly challenging time for my mental health, my beloved therapist Kierstin told me, “I don’t worry about you.” This simple, succinct turn of phrase was enough to utterly relax my nerves, just long enough for me to manage a deep breath and chill out for a second.
I’ve also requested in the past that she, and others, “tell me what I know” in moments of overwhelming anxiety. It can be super challenging to access reason and logic when we’re feeling clouded by emotion and nervous system activation. We all know what it feels like to watch a friend spiral about a situation that, from our removed position, seems utterly solvable and impermanent. So by lending them some of our calm certainty, we’re able to donate the gift of pause. Of relaxation. Of assuredness. Boy, can our minds can play tricks, huh?
In working with clients as a therapist, I would employ Kierstin’s wisdom in choice moments, and eventually came across my own version: “Borrow my certainty.” This phrase seems to accomplish a similar goal to hers; it allows the person struggling to cope to escape the confines of their narrow perspective, if only for a moment. It’s like the act of sinking in water and reaching out your hand to find the dock’s edge — phew.
Note to readers: I think a bi-weekly publication pace feels better at this moment in time, so expect a newsletter every two weeks rather than each and every :) I’m also going to do away with the paid tier for now — just doesn’t quite feel necessary or aligned for me. More for all! Sending each of you love <3
The “Chase Sapphire Preferred” credit card
This is admittedly a hilarious recommendation, but I used my points earned through this card to buy my flight to the east coast, and a bunch of my friends are wild about it as well. So figured I’d give you the intel! If you want a referral code text me ;) (seriously)
The “CHANI” App Breakthrough Course (link)
A few friends and I decided to take this course (this term feels intense for what it is) together to move some stuck energy, as I mentioned above. It’s asynchronous, so there’s tons of flexibility. I’ve found it super clarifying and the meditations included are absolutely KILLER. It’s been such a gift during this weird period of my life, and I appreciate that it’s not really related to Chani’s astrology content whatsoever — very neutral, but helpful, stuff.
It’s 28-days long, and FREE! Let me know if you end up starting it :)